23 5 / 2012
Healing can’t occur without change.
(Source: recoveryisbeautiful, via recoveryisbeautiful)
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02 5 / 2012
Discovery of the day
Running just before an oral presentation makes me a million times less likely to have a panic attack.
It was an accident that I discovered this, but I forgot something in my locker just before the presentation and ran to get it. I came back kind of out of breath, but we dove right into the presentation. I wasn’t even nervous or panicky.
It makes sense - it gives all that adrenaline a place to go (it doesn’t feel like adrenaline, but I suppose it is) and distracts me a bit. Anticipatory anxiety is the worst, and it sort of gets rid of that if I just have to go for it.
In conclusion. I need to find a way to make running possible for every single presentation now :)
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01 5 / 2012
Update.
- Still on Celexa
- Haven’t had a real panic attack since March 5th (touch wood…)
- Can sit through all of my classes without much feeling of dissociation or depersonalization
- Can perform an instrument/sing in a concert without feeling much anxiety or panic
However, the only thing that still really affects me is presentations. Not so much in my German class, mostly due to the fact that there’s less than 15 people in it. But my English and Psych classes are just brutal. I have a presentation tomorrow that’s been put off for a week (due to various reasons) and I’m absolutely dreading it. It’s at the end of the day, too.
UGH. I’m not even religious, but anxiety gods, work with me here.
16 4 / 2012
when I grow to be a poppy in the graveyard, I will send you all my love upon the breeze.
and if the breeze won’t blow your way, I will be the sun.
and if the sun won’t shine your way, I will be the rain.
and if the rain won’t wash away all your aches and pains,
I will find some other way to tell you
you’re okay.
